Post by TLCM on Jan 5, 2003 5:00:24 GMT -5
Armon_Swank, Josha, Aaron, I_H8_Jebs and the whole 'angelo' thing.
Ok not really, what I mean't was post any jokes up here if you want.
Dad stumbled into the stables where Dave was working on the ute. “What’s wrong?” Dad
Asked.
“Piston broke,” said Dave.
“So am I,” muttered Dad as he stumbled off.
Dave and Mabel were invited to a fancy dress party, a fundraiser for a fashionable illness. But at the last minute Mabel claimed a headache and told Dave to go alone.
But she had a plan. After he’d left dressed as Donald Duck, Mabel donned her costume, a stunning Venetian outfit, complete with mask, and headed for the venue.
And there he was cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every woman in sight, copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
In due course she sidled up and began flirting with him outrageously. And he obviously didn’t have a clue to who was behind the mask. So next thing he invited her out to the car park for a knee – trembler against a shadowed wall.
Just before the un-masking at midnight she slipped away and went home and packed the costume in its box and climbed into bed, wondering what he’d have to say for himself.
Mabel was sitting up reading when Dave arrived.
“Hello darling, did you have a good time?”
And Dave said: “No, not really. I never have a good time when you’re not with me.”
So she asked: “Did you dance much?”
And he said: “I didn’t even dance once. When I got there I met Pete and Bill and some of the other blokes and we went into a back room and played poker all evening. But you’re not going to believe what happened to the bloke I loaned my costume to.”
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos….. then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.
Definition of a consultant – A guy who can tell you a thousand ways to have sex but doesn’t know any women.
Pinocchio’s girlfriend complains of splinters. Pinocchio’s father, the old carpenter says to his son: “Well you better give you self a rub down prior to sex.”
“What do you mean father?”
“If you want to prevent splinters rub your wooden penis with fine sandpaper.”
A few weeks later, the old carpenter asks his wooden son: “How’s your girl friend?”
Pinocchio says: “Who needs a girlfriend?”
Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through a forest so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back then sat on his face crying “Lie to me! Lie to me!”
Ok not really, what I mean't was post any jokes up here if you want.
Dad stumbled into the stables where Dave was working on the ute. “What’s wrong?” Dad
Asked.
“Piston broke,” said Dave.
“So am I,” muttered Dad as he stumbled off.
Dave and Mabel were invited to a fancy dress party, a fundraiser for a fashionable illness. But at the last minute Mabel claimed a headache and told Dave to go alone.
But she had a plan. After he’d left dressed as Donald Duck, Mabel donned her costume, a stunning Venetian outfit, complete with mask, and headed for the venue.
And there he was cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every woman in sight, copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
In due course she sidled up and began flirting with him outrageously. And he obviously didn’t have a clue to who was behind the mask. So next thing he invited her out to the car park for a knee – trembler against a shadowed wall.
Just before the un-masking at midnight she slipped away and went home and packed the costume in its box and climbed into bed, wondering what he’d have to say for himself.
Mabel was sitting up reading when Dave arrived.
“Hello darling, did you have a good time?”
And Dave said: “No, not really. I never have a good time when you’re not with me.”
So she asked: “Did you dance much?”
And he said: “I didn’t even dance once. When I got there I met Pete and Bill and some of the other blokes and we went into a back room and played poker all evening. But you’re not going to believe what happened to the bloke I loaned my costume to.”
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos….. then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.
Definition of a consultant – A guy who can tell you a thousand ways to have sex but doesn’t know any women.
Pinocchio’s girlfriend complains of splinters. Pinocchio’s father, the old carpenter says to his son: “Well you better give you self a rub down prior to sex.”
“What do you mean father?”
“If you want to prevent splinters rub your wooden penis with fine sandpaper.”
A few weeks later, the old carpenter asks his wooden son: “How’s your girl friend?”
Pinocchio says: “Who needs a girlfriend?”
Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through a forest so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back then sat on his face crying “Lie to me! Lie to me!”
