Jack was a moderaratly successful golfer but as he got older he became increasingly hampered by terrible headaches. His golf, personal hygene and love life started to suffer. When his game turned really sour he decided to seek medical help. After being reffered from one specialist to another, he finally came across a specialist who could solve his problem.
"The good news is we can cure your head aches; the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition that causes your testicals to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a head ache. The only way to relieve the pressure and to allow your swing to work again is to remove your testicals."
Jack was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for, but then figured at least he could play reasonable golf again. He decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realiszed that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beggining, swing free and live a new life. He went to the club for a drink but as he passed the pro shop he decided: "That's what I need, a new outfit!"
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like some new golf slacks." THe salesman eyed him briefly and said, "let's see.....size 44 long."
Jack laughed. "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Jack tried on the slacks and they fitted perfectly. AS Jack admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt? I've got some great new Greg Norman stock."
Jack thought for a moment and then said: "Sure."
The salesman eyed Jack briefly and said, "Let's see. Thirty-four sleeve and...... 16-and-a-half neck."
Jack was suprised. "THat's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Jack tried on the shirt and it fitted perfectly. AS Jack adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked: "How about some new shoes? WE've got new stock with soft spikes."
Jack was on a role and agreed. The salesman said: "let's see ......nine-and-a-half wide."
Jack was astonished. "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Jack tried on the shoes and they fitted perfectly. Jack walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked: "How about a new hat?"
Without hesitating Jack said: "Sure....." THe salesman eyed Jack's head and said: "let's see.....60."
Jack was really impressed. "That's right. How did you know?"
"It's my job."
The hat fitted perfectly. Jack was feeling great when the salesman asked: "How about some new under wear? Got some great new imported stock."
Jack thought for a secondand said: "Sure."
The salesman stepped back, eye'd Jack's waistand said, "Let's see ...... size 36."
Jack laughed. "No, i've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head. "You can't wear size 34 - everytime you swin it would press up against the back of your spine and create one hell of a headache."
